A man arrives home early from work one afternoon to find his wife sprawled out on the bed, gasping and panting.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Err,” she stutters. “I… um… I think I’m having a heart attack!” “Oh,” exclaims the gullible husband, “quick, I’ll call an ambulance!” He rushes downstairs, grabs the phone, and starts dialing 911. Suddenly, his son Johnny appears, sobbing his little heart out. “What’s wrong, son?” the father asks.
“Uncle James is in the closet with no clothes on, Daddy,” the tearful toddler replies. Furious, the man bolts back upstairs, yanks open the wardrobe, and finds his brother standing there, completely naked, just as his son had said.
“You bastard, Jim,” the man yells. “My wife is over there having a heart attack and you’re running around naked scaring Johnny!”
The room falls into an awkward silence as Jim, still stark naked, stares at his brother with wide eyes, his mouth opening and closing like a fish gasping for air. The wife, realizing the situation has taken an unexpected turn, suddenly sits up, miraculously cured of her “heart attack.”
“You idiot!” Jim finally blurts out. “It’s not what it looks like!”
“Oh really?” the husband sneers, crossing his arms. “Then what the hell is it, Jim? Some new form of stress therapy?”
Jim fumbles for words but finds none. The wife, regaining her composure, decides to go on the offensive. “Honey, I… I was just—um—checking his reflexes!”
“Reflexes?” the husband shouts, his face turning red. “Then why the hell is he naked?”
“Full body examination?” she offers weakly.
Johnny, still sobbing, tugs at his dad’s sleeve. “Daddy, Uncle James was jumping up and down like a kangaroo before you came in!”
The husband’s face darkens, his fists clenching at his sides. “You know what, Jim? I should knock you out right now!”
Jim, still shielding his private parts with his hands, takes a step back. “Look, I can explain! It’s all just a misunderstanding!”
“Oh, I bet it is,” the husband growls. “Now get out of my damn house before I turn this ‘misunderstanding’ into a real emergency!”
Jim, knowing better than to argue, grabs the nearest thing he can to cover himself—his sister-in-law’s bathrobe—and bolts for the door. Meanwhile, the wife sits awkwardly on the bed, avoiding eye contact.
The husband turns back to her, shaking his head. “A heart attack, huh?”
She forces a nervous smile. “Stress can do weird things to a person…”
“Yeah,” he mutters, glaring at the door where Jim just fled. “And apparently, so can having a dumbass for a brother.”
