BREAKING: Federal Judge Orders Trump Admin to Give Venezuelan Migrants 21-Day Notice Before Deportation — “You Can’t Just Yeet People Anymore”
By Political Parody Press
Washington, D.C. — In a decision that sent shockwaves through both Mar-a-Lago and MAGA Twitter, a federal judge ruled this morning that the Trump administration (yes, still acting like it’s in power) must provide at least 21 days notice before deporting Venezuelan migrants—citing due process, human rights, and “basic calendar courtesy.”
The ruling comes after reports that dozens of migrants were being rounded up and told, essentially, “Pack now. Plane’s outside.” One migrant described the process as “Uber, but horrifying.”
Judge Linda Arroyo, in a sharply worded opinion, stated:
“This is not DoorDash for deportations. The United States is not a reality TV show where people get voted off the island. We will not be treating migrants like broken appliances.”
The decision immediately triggered a meltdown in the Trump camp.
“Another woke judge trying to cancel strong borders,” Trump wrote on Truth Social, while promoting his new deportation-themed board game “Border Blitz: Build, Ban, Win.”
He followed it with:
“No more warnings. You come in, you get out. That’s how we did it, and it was perfect—PERFECT.”
Legal analysts, however, hailed the ruling as a constitutional firewall against chaos.
“Giving 21 days notice isn’t radical,” said immigration attorney Paul Hernandez. “That’s the amount of time it takes to return a shirt to Macy’s.”
Advocacy groups are celebrating the news. “This is a win for humanity,” said a spokesperson for Justice for Immigrants. “People aren’t Amazon packages. You can’t just slap a barcode on their back and send them off.”
The Department of Homeland Security (currently run by people who actually read laws) issued a measured response:
“We are reviewing the ruling and will comply with legal standards. Unlike some people.”
Meanwhile, critics argue the 21-day rule gives Trump exactly what he loves most: a countdown clock.
“He’ll probably turn it into a new reality show,” said one MSNBC host. “Deportation Countdown: Venezuela Edition.”
In Florida, a few Trump supporters were spotted with signs reading “21 DAYS TOO LONG” and “LET ICE BE ICE.”
Still, the mood among Venezuelan migrant communities is one of cautious relief. Many are using the window to contact lawyers, gather documents, or at the very least, not be blindsided before breakfast.
As the legal battle escalates, the question remains: Will Trump obey the courts, or will he try to “truth” his way through the Constitution again?
Only time—and possibly another judge with a gavel and a migraine—will tell.
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